Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Words - The silent killer


Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me...well that was he biggest load of bullshit ever wasn't it! Yes sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will tear me down, squashing my heart in the process and ultimately making me feel much worse. A pain on the inside is a pain that's much harder to ignore than a physical one. It's one that stays with you at all times until every so often something might come along and distract you from it for a while, and if you're lucky maybe you can make it go away forever. Unfortunately though for some people, the only way they can make it go away is suicide. That's the truth! As much as some people might not want to admit it, its true.


In light of a recent Netflix phenomenon which I'm sure you've all heard of, Thirteen reasons why, it only cemented my strong feelings towards this topic. The series in my eyes has been a turning point for so many people, it showed that every little thing, something that might seem minuscule to you, maybe you said it in vain, can have a much bigger impact on the recipient than you could ever imagine. It highlighted the fact that you really don't know what's going on in other people's lives and your comment could be the straw that broke the camels back. The person on the receiving end of a snide comment might even laugh it off because that's what we're trained to do, not show signs of weakness, but they could really be hurting inside- in fact they probably are! 


An experience of this I have is from my first years in secondary school. I had a so called 'friend' say to me "it's not that we hate you Kate, we just don't really like you." and that small comment, which she probably forgot she ever said, has stayed with me throughout the 6 years since. I guess I am still holding a grudge, but why shouldn't I!? I'll never forget those words she said to me whether she meant them or not and I've got to live with that. 
Leading on from this, something else the show touched on was that one of the things contributing to Hannah (who's the main characters) 'reasons why' was sexual assault. Now I don't want to delve in to this to much for the people that haven't watched the show, but it showed her getting catcalled by some boys and actually at one point having her arse pinched by them. It doesn't go for all boys out there or even girls as I know there are lots of lovely ones that would never dream of doing this, but I can say from first hand experience that there are a large number of men that think this is acceptable. But what was ever acceptable about shouting at women in the streets or more so touching them without their permission, who told them that? Some people would even take it as a compliment, well they whistling at you so they must think you're pretty, be happy about it! Umm no thanks! What's appealing about being shouted by random guys especially when you're on your own? 


It happened to me recently as I was getting off the bus. I was on my own and walking down to the traffic lights when I saw three boys walking towards me on the other side of the road, and you know when you just have a feeling that something's gonna happen, well it did! One of them crossed over to my side so I put my phone up to my ear pretending I was on the phone which is what is usually do to appear busy in situations like this, just me?   Clearly this didn't put them off though as one of them from the other side of the road decided to holler at me "Oi oi my mate thinks you're really fit!" while the other one just whistled. I was mortified and just looked down to get away from them quickly. Something that seems so trivial to them, I'm sure they forgot about it by the time they got home, left me shaken and anxious to go out on my own again. It might not seem like a big deal to others but it made me feel like an object and I wasn't complimented by it all all, in fact I was repulsed. I ended up having it on my mind all night after that and wondering how girls could like being catcalled. 

I actually have a friend who recently told me that when getting off a bus she had a guy pinch her arse. She's 15! How does anyone think they have the right to touch someone else without their consent, especially in personal areas, and even more so on such a young girl. I just think that people need to start thinking before they speak and remember that their actions have consequences.

If you haven't already watched 13 reasons why they I'd strongly recommend you do and I hope you'll agree with what I've said in this post. As always thanks for reading and I'm always here if anyone needs to talk.

Kate Rose xo



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32 comments

  1. I watched 13 reasons why and loved it, the book was amazing too. You're spot on, words can do so much damage and they stick with you for years. So glad you spoke about this.
    Liv x
    livslack.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I really want to read the book now. Thank you Liv! X

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  2. I've not yet watched it and didn't really know what it was about until a few days ago. I think a lot of people don't understand how much of an effect words have on people. Catcalling does my head in, people like to ignore it but it can escalate into something worse. I just keep trying to be optimistic that the world is slowly changing for the better.

    Lauren :) x

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    1. I'd really reccomend it! Haha I hope it is! X

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  3. I have been being told by everyone to watch this, so I will definitely be giving it a try this weekend. This was a beautiful review of it :-)

    ~Laurali Star

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  4. The opening of this post really touched me. As someone who suffers with anxiety and depression, pain is something I feel all the time and whilst I can sometimes distract myself from it at times, it never does go away. This is such a well written post, Kate. You've raised some really important issues here. Well done you xx

    Lauren | itslaurenvictoria.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear the Lauren but completely understand what you mean! Thank you so much that really means a lot. X

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  5. I've not started the series yet, and as much as I want to, I'm scared that it's going to be triggering. I'm sorry to hear about your experience when you got off the bus, to them it's just a laugh where as it really shouldn't be. Thank you for sharing this xx

    Hannah | luxuryblush♡

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    1. It definitely is very triggering and if that's something that'd affect you then I'd say it's best not watching! Hopefully though people talking about it though you can see how powerful it was. Thank you! X

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  6. I really need to watch this series, I'm so sorry that lads feel it's acceptable to do that to you! It's not on xxxx

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  7. The series just left me not knowing how to react or what to do once I was done. I had already read the book but just the way that it was portrayed in the series really hit me. O hope that you feel better now! It's just unacceptable. x Nikita

    I absolutely loved this post! I think that it summarized some of the most important things in the show. I watched through all the episodes so quickly and after I was done, I didn't even know what to think. I hope that everyone who watched it learned something. xx Nikita

    BLOG//Jasmine Loves

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    1. Thank you so much! I could do with re watching it to be honest, soak it all in properly this time! X

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  8. Great post! I'm loving how much Thirteen Reasons Why has made everyone (online and at school in my case) has made people. It addresses some really difficult but important topics and I'm so glad you've spoken about it, thank you :) xo

    emsirose.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you! Me too it's such an important show! X

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  9. I binge watched Thirteen Reasons Why over the space of 3/4 days and I found it totally heartbreaking! Sexual assault and horrible things like the catcalling you experienced are so common (sadly) and so many people don't realise the impact that such things can have on young women! It's such an awful "lad culture" phenomenon, I'm so sorry that you had to experience it too! Disgusting that your 15 year old friend was targeted too! Urgh!

    Abbey 😘 www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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    1. Thank you! It's definitely something that needs to change, it's not acceptable! X

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  10. I haven't seen 13 reasons why yet but I really want too. As long as catcalling girls will be asociated with making a compliment, everybody will find it ok. While it is intrusive and disturbing someone's personal space. It is also an unsollicited opinion based on a woman's sole apparence which send her back to it. I lived in Italy where it was a nightmare street harassment wise but I know it must be worst in other parts of the world. I don't think people really realise what catcalling is which is why some people pretend they like it! xx corinne

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    1. You should! It's just immature and disgusting, I don't know why people think they can do it! X

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  11. I love your first sentence so much! I'm on episode 8 of 13 Reasons why at the moment x


    Morgan // www.justmorgs.com

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    1. Thank you! Oohh nearly at the end then! X

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  12. I agree totally, words are so important and they have a meaning regardless of what people may think. I wish people would be more considerate and think of others feelings sometimes, especially when it comes to catcalling and harassment, which is horrible. Like you so rightly said, certain incidents stick with you. Hope you're well xo

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    1. Definitely and in most cases I think words have more power to hurt people than physical pain anyway! X

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  13. I have got 13 reasons why on my watch list but I'm still not sure whether to watch it after seeing a few tweets about it that say it's not something to watch if you suffer with anxiety/depression yourself. Like everyone else said, I loved the first sentence of this post. I also do the same if I'm on my own and I feel like something isn't right I tend to pretend I'm on the phone or actually call someone lol.

    People don't understand that they can throw words around (even as a joke) but it still affects the person who has been targeted even for years later x

    astoldbykirsty.co.uk

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    1. Yes it is very triggering so that's something to be careful about. Haha the old pretending to be on your phone trick is a classic! X

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  14. I need more answers from that show, it finished on such unfinished ending! I totally agree with everything you've said in this post. Word's can really effect someone for a really long time. Don't even get me started with males (and I guess females) thinking they can act like that around women. If a guy said something to me while I was on my own I get so anxious too, I always go to grab my phone too!

    olivia / www.describingolivia.com

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  15. A few years ago I even read the book, but I barely remembered any details from it, and the show was so amazing and heartbreaking at the same time! I really love this post Kate, everyone should realise all these things! Love, Fanni
    www.coffee-keeps-me-alive.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you! I really want to read the book! X

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  16. I want to watch Thirteen Reasons Why, but at the same time I don't know whether I want to. catcalling is something I absolutely hate, it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I'm sorry that it happened to you x

    emjbarker.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. It is quite triggering so that's something to keep in mind! X

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